Everyone's Wedding But Mine

Tales of a (formerly) unmarried wedding hopper

Guest Blogger: Rosanna Hardin March 23, 2010

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Note from me: Rosanna from MyWeddingWorkbook.com reached out and let me know she was loving my blog. We then decided to do a cross guest blog experience. Below is her blog on notes for a Maid of Honor and my blog on her site can be found here:http://www.myweddingworkbook.com/blog/index.cfm/2010/3/22/10-tips-for-shopping-for-bridesmaids-dresses–a-guest-blog-by-Lauren-J-Rivera Enjoy!

Before you say “yes” to being Maid of Honor

With most engagements lasting 12-18 months, there’s much more to being MOH than just showing up on the day of the wedding. For your (and the bride’s) sake, consider whether you can realistically balance the responsibility of being MOH with your own busy day-to-day schedule. Take a look at the tasks below; chances are you’ll be asked to help out with at least a few of them.

Prior to the wedding
• Listen
You will be the bride’s shoulder to lean on throughout the engagement period. Wedding planning is often as stressful as it is exciting, so be prepared to do a lot of listening!

• Checking out wedding venues
The bride will probably want your input on possible wedding venues. Be her voice of reason and ask questions like: Can this venue hold all of your guests? Is there enough parking?

• Pick out wedding invitations
Some brides will take their fiancé invitation shopping, but others will want you to go. Help out by searching for invitations that correlate with her theme.

• Ordering/choosing decorations and favors
Again, consider the theme of the wedding. If you’re responsible for ordering, it’s imperative that everything be delivered on time!

• Wedding Dress Selection
Most brides take their MOH dress shopping. It’s fun, but can be tricky for the MOH. Be honest when giving your opinion, but remember that ultimately it’s her wedding.

• Help register for gifts
Again, the bride may take her fiancé, but if she requests you to come, try to make sure you’re selecting things based on her taste.

• Organize seating arrangements
Seating arrangements can be very time consuming, but you can offer lots of help. Chances are, you know a lot of the people that will be at the wedding, so you can recommend great arrangements.

• Plan and host the bridal shower
Usually, you will organize this with the rest of the bridesmaids.

• Plan and host the bachelorette party
Again, duties can be divided up among bridesmaids.

• Keep the other bridesmaids organized
Make sure everyone is on time and doing their part.

Day of the wedding
• Assist the bride with her dress, hair, makeup etc.
• Serve as a messenger between bride, family and groom
• Witness the signing of the marriage license
• Help with the dress, veil, train and bouquet
• Hold the groom’s ring
• Give a toast at the reception/rehearsal dinner

It’s a big responsibility, but it’s also a wonderful honor. Most of all, remember to have fun and enjoy this exciting time with a close friend!

____________________
Rosanna Hardin is a writer for My Wedding Workbook, the online wedding planner software for do-it yourself brides, and My Wedding Workbook Pro, the premier wedding planning software for wedding professionals.

 

Visual Mayhem- EWBM’s 1st Vlog March 22, 2010

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Below is a video compilation from my time in Florida with FMH and her bridal crew. Travels through Fort Lauderdale, Sunrise and Orlando resulted in a mixture of laughs, good times and a surprising tear or two. Check it!

 

Bristol Palin’s Fake Wedding March 17, 2010

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While this has nothing to do with my blog, I thought it would be fun to post anyway. Xtranormal.com is a website that allows you to create cartoons based on scripts you put together yourself. You’re only given a small amount of characters to chose from unless you want to buy their packages/stages/etc. One of the options were Sarah Palin and Larry King. I’ll tell you first hand, I’m not a comedy writer. So, if you watch this, just take it as me putting together something entirely silly. Enjoy 🙂

 

MOH and Other Acronyms March 16, 2010

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I’ve know the Future Mrs. H (FMH) since I was 8. She was a 3rd grade newcomer by way of Texas. I remember meeting her and thinking I’d like to put her in my pocket and carry her around with me everywhere. Over the 20 years that followed (writing that out loud makes me feel incredibly old) we became the best of friends. Although life would physically separate us (she did a short stint in Texas during high school, and I went to college in Jersey) we remained close and could always catch up where we left off.

On a girly excursion in July of 2004, we visited Florida and I linked us up with our old grammar school bud, Mr. H. He’d left our school in the 6th grade, and although they’d lost touch, I stayed in contact with him. A romantic connection ensued between them and a year later she was moving to Florida. It was bittersweet: she was in love and happy…but  moving too far away for me to crash on her couch and blab about my boy drama.  As always though, our friendship endured.  So when she and Mr. H got engaged on July 4th 2009, people immediately began asking me “Are you her maid of honor?” Truth was I had no idea.

If I were married tomorrow (insert huge laugh here) I would, without a doubt, make FMH my MOH; not only is she my best friend but my oldest. However, I knew I wasn’t FMH’s only choice. She has another best friend, Mel, and she has cousins with whom she is very close. The answer was far from crystal clear. And so began the running joke amongst my close friends and family who knew of the situation.

I tried finding out indirectly by asking the names of her bridal party for, you know, the wedding website and stuff. But FMH wasn’t in wedding planning mode yet and told me she’d get back to me. My boyfriend concocted the outrageous idea of asking FMH if I was the MOH because he wanted to throw an MOH party for me. When I told him no such tradition existed he contemplated starting it anyway. After several months had passed, even my mom was ready to play detective for me. I told them to all relax, that I’d be happy with whatever she chose to do…Wouldn’t I?

Now it’s March, eight months later and I was heading to Florida for the initial wedding weekend where FMH told us she’d make all wedding announcements. I arrived in not so sunny South Florida on Wednesday. FMH and Mel picked me up at the airport and immediately we headed to eat and drink.  What better way to start off the weekend activities? After feeling like cougars at Fat Tuesdays (it’s Spring Break and no one is a day over 21) we headed to do more “adult” things (i.e. try on bridesmaid dresses.) There’s an entertaining video I will post later this week. Traditionally the MOH wears a dress different from all the others. So it was here I thought I might get my answer. FMH immediately announced she would like all four of us to wear different styles, just same material and color. Well there went that clue.

With each dress that clung to my butt or fell off my chest, I became more and more distracted by the “what ifs”. What if I were only a bridesmaid? Would I be ok with that? And if I wasn’t, could I hide the disappointment? Could I evoke my first Academy award-winning performance?! By time we reached her house I was ready to pull my metaphorical calla lilies from their roots!

In her living room, FMH brought me a small bag. “A gift for you,” she smiled. I opened up the small red bag and this is what I pulled out:

Talk about finding a cute way of asking me! (Now let’s just forget those gray hairs I sprouted in the interim.) Of course I said yes with a hug and then realized Mel was a Matron not a Maid since she’d been married. Duh, Lauren!

Guessing games now aside, the rest of the planning began. And when FMH’s cousin Felice produced a laundry list of things that need to be done prior to the wedding I realized not only how glad I am to not be planning my own wedding (it’s f’in chaotic!) but how much happier I am to be planning it for my BFF FMH as MOH 😉

 

Go Theme Yourself! March 9, 2010

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I learned something new about weddings recently, they should supposedly be themed. What?? Why??

This is a convo I had with the Future Mrs. C (FMC) – embellished slightly for comedic delight:

FMC: So you know how much Mr. C and I love South Beach?

Me: Yes.

FMC: Well we’re thinking of doing a South Beach themed wedding.

[Visions of teal, orange and plastic palm trees immediately flood my mind and scare the crap out of me.]

Me: Umm…why?

FMC: Because the wedding planner said we need a theme.

Me: Honey, I think they meant modern, romantic, simplistic. Not, “Do you want the Miami Dolphins mascot as an ice sculpture centerpiece?”

FMC: [laughs] Clearly, but still. What the hell am I supposed to come up with?

Me: Well, what does South Beach make you think of?

FMC: I don’t know.

Me: Well then, it’s not meant to be your theme.

And so begins the downward spiral of FMC losing her mind over choosing a theme. How is it that planning the most important day of your life, a day of joy and livelihood, manages to suck the life OUT of you? This woman has gone through several color combinations already, ran them all by me, and left me wishing I was colorblind. I can only imagine how she feels.  Not to mention, isn’t this part of the wedding planners job? Help you figure out what colors you want the same way a therapist helps you figure out why you have Florence Nightingale syndrome? (TMI?) Apparently, these wedding planners don’t think so. Where’s Mary Fiore when you need her?! (“The Wedding Planner” movie reference- come on people!)

I feel for FMC, partly because this is driving her nuts and partly because these color choices and themes are going to effect me in the long run (like how my stylist tells me I need to stay away from wearing colors like nude.) I promised her I will try to take notes during my wedding planning excursion in Florida this week and bring her back some ideas.

Wedding God, help us all!

 

Relationships vs. Marriage March 5, 2010

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Some of you may believe that, because of the premise of this blog, I am as little a believer in relationships as I am of marriages. This is not true. If anything I’m the queen of relationships considering how many I’ve had since the time I was 13 (just because they lasted a week doesn’t mean they weren’t real?!) I’ve been in all kinds of relationships: deep, superficial, smothering, extremely loving, wrong, right…you get my drift. If you’ve seen “500 Days of Summer” (and I hope you have because it’s one of my most favorite relationship movies ever) then know that I have been, in my own life, the character Summer: carefree, unattached, believing that love is just a word. BUT, I’ve also been Tom: in love with being in love and thinking life is unimportant until I find that love. I was Tom earlier on, before I went through my first “divorce.” This was back when I was 22 and living with a guy who I planned to marry and have a cute amount of rugrats with. When that relationship fell apart I re-evaluated where I stood in the world of love, and I wasn’t sure of the answer. Eventually, I came into another situation where I was with someone I could see myself marrying, but my heart wasn’t in it…and apparently neither was his sanity. Came to find out he was still engaged in a relationship with his “estranged” wife. So yeah, I’ve had some interesting relationships to say the least. But it hasn’t been all bad.

I met my current boyfriend back in September 2007. Love him dearly, know the love is reciprocated. Pretty sure I may never be as in sync with someone as I am with him… And yet marriage is just not something I see in my future. Of course, amidst the two weddings we had to survive through last summer and the abundance of engagements that came shortly thereafter, we were poked and prodded with the question “So when will it be your turn?” but I wasn’t the least bit interested in answering. Maybe after the things I went through I decided to make my career my priority and whatever happens around it happens. Maybe I’m not so sure I want kids anymore (that’s a whole other story.) Maybe I just need to see with my own eyes what the real purpose is…Either way, my journey into marriage territory begins next week as I head to Florida to begin the planning of the future Mrs. H’s (FMH) wedding. Starting with dress selection! There will be video! There will be photos! But there will definitely, without a doubt NOT be a dress like this:

This was taken a couple of years ago in my office when my coworker brought in her wedding dress and I decided to throw it on and do a loop around making everyone completely confused. Not knocking the dress, I saw photos from my coworker’s wedding day and she looked gorgeous. But hopefully I can help find something sans poofy sleeves for FMH.

 

So What is This Blog About Anyway? March 2, 2010

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My name is Lauren. I’m 28 years old and about as far away from my own wedding as RuPaul is to becoming straight. However, between now and April 2011, I’ll have been in two wedding parties and attended one other*

The purpose of this blog is to tell the world (or maybe just you, my one reader) how I cope with it all. Cope? Why does she have to “cope”? Well, mainly because I’m not much of a believer in marriage and soul mates and all that lovey-dovey hoopla. Am I jaded? Or am I just too experienced for my own good? Who knows. What I can promise is drama, fun and travel! (Two of the weddings are of the destination type.) So hop on board and take the ride with me. Let’s see where I end up when it’s all over, with my beliefs proven or with a new mindset? Hmm… only bouquets and garters will tell…

*attendance is subject to change should I make new friends that feel me worthy to attend their wedding or get invited by a guest