On April 19, 2013, something unbelievable happened. Pigs didn’t fly (although odds are they should have), but I did get engaged.
Yep, me – the “always a bridesmaid, never really wanted to be a bride” girl.
I’m not sure who was more surprised, me or the swarm of people who were convinced I’d joined the ranks of forever singledom like the godfather, George Clooney. However, the one thing I didn’t possess the night I stood in Fort Tryon park looking at the love of my life as he balanced on one knee, was doubt. Actually, it was as if I’d never been clearer about anything else in my life.
So how does one provoke such a dramatic change, you ask? Only God may know the inner workings of the human heart…but what I can do is tell you my story…
I was always the “old soul” dispensing wisdom far beyond my years. I could give the best advice and direction to those in need, except when the one in need was myself. I made the kind of romantic choices that led to gut-wrenching sobs and declarations like “To hell with love, I’m going to join the Peace Corps!” I was a lovelorn mess… Do you know the best thing about a mess? The satisfaction of the cleanup.
Sure, walking into a kitchen that just underwent an all-night bender can scare the living crap out of your mop, but in the end, how great does it feel when that floor is sparkling and looking like new? That’s how I feel now; my love life having been the floor and my fiance being the mop. The glistening tile as bright as our future. (Am I making you gag with these metaphors yet?)
The irony is that I needed
my floor my life to get to that degree of messy in order to appreciate the mop my fiance for his true worth. I regret nothing I’ve been through, the hard lessons I’ve learned or the previous loves I experienced. They were just part of the journey I needed to take. And I think the most important thing to have dawned on me when I fell in love with Matt was that being in love with him was only a portion of what mattered in the long run. I needed to not just love someone, but to trust them wholeheartedly. To know they’d be my partner through thick and thin. That they share my goals and can introduce me to new ones. That they feel about me the way I feel about them.
And when that realization hit, I knew I was looking into the eyes of the man I would spend the rest of my life with….
So that’s the story of how the name of my blog became incredibly ironic… I am now in fact planning my own wedding. Go figure…
Cheers to new adventures 🙂
(Photo by Judie Ann Photography)