And that’s pretty much the point where the zen I’d been feeling about wedding planning took a sharp turn. It’s when I realized there was a lot left to do. Like, more than I’d had to do over the last 10 months, or at least that’s how it seems.
How many RSVPs haven’t come back? Should we really sit x and y together? Who is going to stalk so and so for a response? How do we structure the procession? When is this snow going to STOP?! Matrons or Maids? Full flowers or petals? Penne or tortellini? Details…details…details. There was a night where I was pretty sure my head was going to implode or explode. I just couldn’t figure out which direction the pressure was coming from.
Matt asked me why I was suddenly freaking out when I’d been so calm for so long. And it dawned on me that it had nothing to do with our marriage, it was about the event. I was completely overwhelmed with the feeling that if I didn’t make this the party of the year, my marriage would fail. As if Matt would wake up the morning after our nuptials and say “Last night was sub-par. I want an annulment.”
And then I laughed at myself… because that was ridiculous. (And because there’s no way it’ll be sub-par, so help me God!) But the laugh helped me relax and come to terms with the fact that this day is coming, it’s going to happen and I just have to let it. I have faith it will be memorable. I have faith our family and friends will enjoy reuniting under happy circumstances. I have faith Matt will smile at me more than once. And I have even more faith that it’s the beginning of the best years of my life 🙂