Go Theme Yourself! March 9, 2010

I learned something new about weddings recently, they should supposedly be themed. What?? Why??

This is a convo I had with the Future Mrs. C (FMC) – embellished slightly for comedic delight:

FMC: So you know how much Mr. C and I love South Beach?

Me: Yes.

FMC: Well we’re thinking of doing a South Beach themed wedding.

[Visions of teal, orange and plastic palm trees immediately flood my mind and scare the crap out of me.]

Me: Umm…why?

FMC: Because the wedding planner said we need a theme.

Me: Honey, I think they meant modern, romantic, simplistic. Not, “Do you want the Miami Dolphins mascot as an ice sculpture centerpiece?”

FMC: [laughs] Clearly, but still. What the hell am I supposed to come up with?

Me: Well, what does South Beach make you think of?

FMC: I don’t know.

Me: Well then, it’s not meant to be your theme.

And so begins the downward spiral of FMC losing her mind over choosing a theme. How is it that planning the most important day of your life, a day of joy and livelihood, manages to suck the life OUT of you? This woman has gone through several color combinations already, ran them all by me, and left me wishing I was colorblind. I can only imagine how she feels.  Not to mention, isn’t this part of the wedding planners job? Help you figure out what colors you want the same way a therapist helps you figure out why you have Florence Nightingale syndrome? (TMI?) Apparently, these wedding planners don’t think so. Where’s Mary Fiore when you need her?! (“The Wedding Planner” movie reference- come on people!)

I feel for FMC, partly because this is driving her nuts and partly because these color choices and themes are going to effect me in the long run (like how my stylist tells me I need to stay away from wearing colors like nude.) I promised her I will try to take notes during my wedding planning excursion in Florida this week and bring her back some ideas.

Wedding God, help us all!

Relationships vs. Marriage March 5, 2010

Some of you may believe that, because of the premise of this blog, I am as little a believer in relationships as I am of marriages. This is not true. If anything I’m the queen of relationships considering how many I’ve had since the time I was 13 (just because they lasted a week doesn’t mean they weren’t real?!) I’ve been in all kinds of relationships: deep, superficial, smothering, extremely loving, wrong, right…you get my drift. If you’ve seen “500 Days of Summer” (and I hope you have because it’s one of my most favorite relationship movies ever) then know that I have been, in my own life, the character Summer: carefree, unattached, believing that love is just a word. BUT, I’ve also been Tom: in love with being in love and thinking life is unimportant until I find that love. I was Tom earlier on, before I went through my first “divorce.” This was back when I was 22 and living with a guy who I planned to marry and have a cute amount of rugrats with. When that relationship fell apart I re-evaluated where I stood in the world of love, and I wasn’t sure of the answer. Eventually, I came into another situation where I was with someone I could see myself marrying, but my heart wasn’t in it…and apparently neither was his sanity. Came to find out he was still engaged in a relationship with his “estranged” wife. So yeah, I’ve had some interesting relationships to say the least. But it hasn’t been all bad.

I met my current boyfriend back in September 2007. Love him dearly, know the love is reciprocated. Pretty sure I may never be as in sync with someone as I am with him… And yet marriage is just not something I see in my future. Of course, amidst the two weddings we had to survive through last summer and the abundance of engagements that came shortly thereafter, we were poked and prodded with the question “So when will it be your turn?” but I wasn’t the least bit interested in answering. Maybe after the things I went through I decided to make my career my priority and whatever happens around it happens. Maybe I’m not so sure I want kids anymore (that’s a whole other story.) Maybe I just need to see with my own eyes what the real purpose is…Either way, my journey into marriage territory begins next week as I head to Florida to begin the planning of the future Mrs. H’s (FMH) wedding. Starting with dress selection! There will be video! There will be photos! But there will definitely, without a doubt NOT be a dress like this:

This was taken a couple of years ago in my office when my coworker brought in her wedding dress and I decided to throw it on and do a loop around making everyone completely confused. Not knocking the dress, I saw photos from my coworker’s wedding day and she looked gorgeous. But hopefully I can help find something sans poofy sleeves for FMH.

So What is This Blog About Anyway? March 2, 2010

My name is Lauren. I’m 28 years old and about as far away from my own wedding as RuPaul is to becoming straight. However, between now and April 2011, I’ll have been in two wedding parties and attended one other*

The purpose of this blog is to tell the world (or maybe just you, my one reader) how I cope with it all. Cope? Why does she have to “cope”? Well, mainly because I’m not much of a believer in marriage and soul mates and all that lovey-dovey hoopla. Am I jaded? Or am I just too experienced for my own good? Who knows. What I can promise is drama, fun and travel! (Two of the weddings are of the destination type.) So hop on board and take the ride with me. Let’s see where I end up when it’s all over, with my beliefs proven or with a new mindset? Hmm… only bouquets and garters will tell…

*attendance is subject to change should I make new friends that feel me worthy to attend their wedding or get invited by a guest